The kitchen spirits have finally graced me, after a grueling and frustrating day at the oven. I woke up this morning with the spontaneous desire to make English muffins (crumpets) from scratch. Using my new recipe and a fresh bag of white whole wheat flour, I whip up some batter and assemble the griddle.
But first, I cleaned the kitchen.
A word of warning, when attempting to use muffin rings (okay, I was cheating by using an egg ring) remember to GREASE THE RINGS. This would have neatly circumvented the fumbling to unstick the muffin so I could flip it and the mild burn to my finger.
What's that smell? you say? Why, yes, why you had your hand under cold water the bacon WAS burning. *sigh*
Made two bacon and egg breakfast sandwiches and then gave up. I was a little disappointed at the lack of 'nooks & crannies' but AgtOrange declared his sandwich delicious. The batter was also more salty than I care for, so I simply threw the rest out.
After sulking for an hour or so, I cleaned the giant mess in the kitchen.
Ah, clean counters! What to do next? I reached for the freezer bin of frozen bananas. The vegans on the internet would have you believe that blending frozen bananas has a taste and consistency similar to ice cream.
After pulling down and assembling the blender and filling it full of frozen banana, soy milk, sugar and vanilla, I turned it on and created an almost creamy paste that tastes like... frozen bananas. In fact, the freezing actually seemed to bring out more of the banana flavor. It's not bad, but it certainly isn't ice cream, not even banana flavored ice cream. I plan on trying another batch featuring heavy chocolate.
Then I cleaned the kitchen.
Okay, how about prepping my new baking stone. Let's make a pizza! I thawed the sauce from a previous pizza-making-fest and began mixing some dough.
Two hours later and my dough stubbornly refuses to rise. I think I added too much oil. I throw a little gluten in the mix and check the consistency. It is nice and elastic, but it JUST WON'T RISE!! ARGH! I give up and create the first pizza on the stone, using zucchini and green pepper as toppings. I'm also roasting tomatoes and garlic for chili making at some future date.
The pizza dough recipe does not adapt from grill/broiler to oven very well. This must be the world's first pizza you can roll up like a tortilla. It tastes great. I still sulk for awhile, then prep the second pizza, which first goes into the broiler, THEN the oven.
WOW, I've made a fucking work of art. Crispy like a cracker, with the perfect ratio of sauce to spice to topping. I wish I'd bothered to reblend all the pizza sauce, but the blender bits are still in the dishwasher. I barely manage to get the stone out of the oven at all, for it is stubbornly refusing to part from the rack.
Finally, something I can sink my teeth into. Funny thing is, I'm not really hungry anymore.
Settle down with one pitiful slice of pizza (AgtOrange wolfing it down beside me) to watch Anthony Bourdain's 100th episode in Paris. Look at all that butter!
Um... then I clean the kitchen.... again.
I'm exhausted, but I really want to learn to make blood pudding. Why so? I think deviled eggs would be perfect if done with fresh mayonnaise, a dollop of blood pudding on top (instead of salt or hot sauce), and thin slivers of sweet red pepper on top. Now that sounds yummy.