The Jade Pages

Hospital Week in Review

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:13:37 GMT

Monday was the long awaited doctors appointments. I saw the rheumatologist first and then the GI doctor 3.5 hours later. I had thought I would have an hour or so to grab food in between, but no dice. Had to rush my checkout at the first appointment and walk quickly to make the second appointment. The 'hurry up and wait' philosophy sucks. With a waiting room full of people, the GI doctor rushes out of the office, telling us "I have to run to the main hospital, sorry folks, I'll be back soon" and disappears.

By the time my appointments were over, the lab was closed. This hospital actually has two laboratories, a regular one for emergencies and people with good insurance, and a craptastic understaffed cubby which sees those on Medicare, Medicaid, or people unlucky enough to have a shitty HMO. So I had to return the following day for my labwork and xrays, again with an unholy wait. Just unlucky in the xray department and came during a rush. Then I took my prescriptions to my pharmacy (which is not part of the hospital complex) and, true to low-cost health care, was told I'd have to come back in the morning to pick up. Spent Wednesday with my dad and picked up the prescription on Thursday, only to discover I was out of refills of the one drug I'd needed refilled, even after I'd asked the lady on Tuesday to specifically check and make sure I had refills before I left. So much for 'yeah, yeah, it's fine'.

Thus I spent two-and-a-half days in the hospital, just for some outpatient visits, and still have a day of pharmacy crawling to go.

Currently, the rheumatologists are looking toward a possible auto-immune disorder. I'd given them a list of my meds and supplements, and the one told me "we can't prescribe CoQ10, but we often recommend it to patients who don't want traditional medicine and they are doing some tests with it now at Harvard for muscle inflammation. I could prescribe a painkiller, but nothing I give you is going to work better for your condition than the flaxseed & CoQ10 combination you are taking." I was told that, because the pain was responding to supplements, it probably was some form of inflammation (rather than the vague pain of fibromyalgia which seems to have no cause) and was therefore more likely to be an auto-immune disorder. Some other possibilities included Crohn's disease (apparently, some GI problems can actually cause joint pain) and something I'd never heard of called reactive arthritis. If you have a bad enough illness, it can trigger arthritis.

The current tests will rule in or out lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or another auto-immune disorder. I also have a colonoscopy and upper GI scheduled to check for IBD, Crohn's or polyps. Now all I have to do is find someone to run the July Blogger's meetup as it looks as though I might be missing it. Drat.

Zack Johnson

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:35:52 GMT

Tampax makes an indie film. It's kind of cool in a totally promotional kind of way.

Official Blogroll for 2009 June Bloggers Meetup

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:40:13 GMT

Well, the new venue seems to have been a success, too bad the turnout wasn't nearly the amount expected. Our organizer is leaving, and it looks like I am stuck organizing for the indefinite duration (eek)!

http://www.blogpharm.com
http://www.pharmcountry.net
http://www.joelogon.com/blog
http://NotionsCapital.com
http://DCblogs.com
http://swordandthescript.blogspot.com/

Yesterday and today I'm helping load the electric piano at the nursing home for the pianist. Today is a double show and I have only an hour before I need to leave -- a long time to sit and do nothing, but not enough time to start any new projects. Today is a double show, meaning two hours of listening to the same songs twice.

Well, better get ready I guess.

On The Nature of Angels

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:38:23 GMT

The following supposes that you believe in the presence of angels, demons, or spirits. It provides no proof for the existence of any of these creatures, nor do I intend to justify my beliefs. I would expect no one to believe anything which they did not personally experience, and in fact many of my friends are athiests. However, I can only say that I HAVE experienced what I believe to be supernatural energies of indeterminate nature and therefore am forced to believe in them even though I currently have no proof to provide for skeptics.

I think of this in the manner of seeing a blue car parked in a handicapped spot. Imagine I saw such a car and reported it, only the driver returns and drives away before any authorities arrive. There is no evidence of the car left, and no one else saw it, but that doesn't mean the car does not exist. Whether or not anyone else believes in the existence of the blue car is subject to their own experiences. If the officer had heard another report yesterday of the same or a similar blue car parked illegally, they are more likely to believe me. However, if I reported this car every day for two months and it was never spotted, the officer would be more likely to believe I'm crazy. All I can say is, believer what you want.

Just finished watching a program about the history of angels/demons (which are pretty much the same kind of entities, just as there are good and bad people but we are all the same species).

They were discussing the vision of Ezekiel, in which he see's 'God's chariot' surrounded by angels. In his dream, the angels have a bizarre aspect. They each have four faces -- human, lion, ox, and eagle.

A jolt of excitement shot through me as I recalled a similar vision I had experienced while on a shamanic drum journey. In my vision, I was chasing a swiftly moving creature made of horse, tiger, and bird (sort of a dark hawk, perhaps a crow, but with a more aggressive beak structure). I never fully understood this creature until now.

I get it. I can explain something about angels.

If heaven is an alternate dimension (or interdimensional space), then angels are fully evolved interdimensional beings. Just as totally colorblind people can't interpret color, we can't interpret the nature of angels with our under-developed senses. These irrational images are our minds attempting to make sense of an interdimesional being.

Humans are primarily one-aspect creatures. We excel at being one 'type' of creature, usually, with the other three aspects not fully developed. I interpret my vision as me seeing myself more fully, in my one fully developed aspect chasing to learn about the other three.

The first aspect is the thinker. This embodies the seeker, the scientist, and the intellectual. I am this kind of aspect human.

The second aspect is the practical, represented in my vision by a horse and in Ezekiel's by an ox (both domestic beasts of agriculture). Most of my athiest friends would fall into this pragmatic aspect, and many of the best homemakers live here as well.

The birds represent the spiritual aspect, and also the need for freedom. An ascetic like Gandhi would be a person who is a fully developed spiritual person. When your life involves the quest for enlightenment over the quest for creature comforts or intellectual pursuits, you are living in your spirit being.

The last is the lion or tiger aspect, which here is the noble protector. Enforcers of the law (at least, those who are righteous in what they do) fall into this category, as well as activists of all stripes.

Angels are creatures without set physical forms. They are fully formed in all four aspects. In our dreams and visions, our minds represent them in ways that help us understand their true natures, such as four-headed creatures or beings with wings and light.

Does that mean if we were to develop all of our aspects we would become angels? Probably not. Still, it doesn't hurt us to act angelically.

REFERENCES:
Ezekiel's Vision

My Personal Mental Pedometer

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:04:06 GMT

Okay, so maybe I walked less than I thought yesterday. I wished I had worn the pedometer after all; it would have been fun to see how many steps I took. I certainly never stopped moving. Does this mean I am finally well?

Actually, it means the CoQ10 and flaxseed (omega-3), plus my normal vitamins, are a knockout combo in regards to whatever is plaguing me. I am certainly in much less pain than I was before! And with the melatonin supplements, I've been sleeping better than I EVER did on prescription sleeping pills. The downside to melatonin is you build resistance pretty quickly, but I have found it works well if I only take it when I need to sleep soundly and get a good start the next day.

So how far did I really walk yesterday? Let's see:

My house to metro = 4 blocks (in DC, 10 standard blocks is roughly a mile)
metro to walking group = 3 blocks
Walked w/ walking group = 4 miles
walked to float setup = 1.2 miles
(helped with parade float)
walk to coffee shop = 1 block
walk back to busstop = 1 block
Metro to my house = 4 blocks
(shower, etc.)
My house to metro = 4 blocks
Walk to restaurant = 3 blocks
Looking for float = 7 blocks
Parade route = 1.5 miles
Back to a metro station = 8 blocks
metro to home = 4 blocks

Total estimate is about 7 miles, much less than I thought, but still more than I thought I'd ever do with my feet/ankles being the way they currently are. And during the parade route I was mostly dancing and waving a sign, not to mention standing next to the float truck which was almost overheating. They'd propped the hood with a Vitamin Water bottle to vent some of the hot air and it was blowing on all the dancers.

The inch long blister on my right heel miraculously went down overnight. I woke up with a slightly tender area and no real puffiness or swelling. However, prolonged exposure to sunlight is still giving me odd rashes. I am beginning to wonder if the doctors maybe missed out on lupus after all (even though my kidney function is fine, which is the hallmark of common types of lupus).

Glitter continues to 'snow' from my hair. It's getting all over the house, which is a little annoying. I've washed my hair twice, and even stood bent over a trashcan and tried shaking/brushing it out. Sparkly dandruff.

Personal Motivators For Exercising

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:14:51 GMT

It is easier to maintain the habit of exercise if you do it in small chunks 6 days a week, rather than 2-3 times a week. Even then, common human laziness slows us from time to time. During these moments of low motivation, having a written list of personal reasons to exercise (which you can refer to as needed) is helpful for self-encouragement.

Here is my current list of reasons:
To be able to wear midriff shirts because I have a sexy, flat stomach.
To wear size 4 jeans and tell EVERYONE.
To have the option of wearing cute designer dresses, even if I don't.
So no one ever again mistakes me for being pregnant.
So I can take up extreme sports without giving myself a heart attack (boxing, martial arts, and freerunning/parkour).
Be less tired day-to-day and have energy to do daily tasks.
So I can study and think better.
To ward off Alzheimers.
Sleep, Ahhh, glorious sleep. A good night's rest is worth gold.
Being one with my body will put me more in touch with my spirit and spiritual side.
Make friends in my exercise classes (I plan on taking yoga to start).
Because it is embarassing when my retired father outwalks me at the mall.
So I can go back to dance class, which I miss sometimes. Also so I can go dancing.
To open any and every jar at will!
To give myself a better chance of recovery in case I ever experience a traumatic injury.
To encourage my boyfriend and family to also get into better shape.
If I exercise more, I can eat more good food.

Between The Rabbit And The Tiger

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 02:50:14 GMT

I've been sick for so long wellness seems like a dream I had, a fond memory long gone in another lifetime. Everything changed, my schedule had to be adjusted for extra rest, fewer fun activities, and more recuperation time afterward. Yet I'm still determined to get better, so much so that I still hope to attend "bodyguard bootcamp" in the fall, along with regular college classes.

It was disheartening to learn some of my friends don't believe me. They think I'm just a hypochondriac, that the constant joint pain and fatigue are nothing more than lack of motivation. I won't deny a certain human laziness when it comes to things like doing chores or studying, but when I'd rather sleep than dance or spend time in a beautiful park? Yes, I get depressed and that makes me more tired, but it is because I can't do what I want that depression first sets in.

I love to eat but I'm often nauseaus now and lack of exercise is making me fat. My stomach always hurts. I hate being out of shape.
I don't have the energy to take care of all my chores to my own satisfaction, meaning I have to live with a less than sparkling kitchen or a dusty home at times and this makes me dissatisfied with my home.
Everything takes so much energy! I can't go shopping for more than an hour because my ankles kill me. I can't surf the internet some days because my hands hurt too much to navigate a mouse and type. On bad days I need help to open jars, which really pisses me off since the ability to open any jar (from my pharmacy days) was a point of feminist pride for me. Dancing is out, so I have stopped going to clubs because I found it depressing to watch without participating. My retired father walks circles around me when we go for morning strolls at the mall.
My balance is messed up. I fall on things and over things. I have to use a straw to drink from a glass so I don't smash the glass on my teeth. Sometimes the straw stabs me in the tongue. My hands drop things.
Concentration is difficult. I have a hard time learning things. Everyday things sometimes slip from memory. College classes loom impossibly difficult in the near future. How will I be able to study and learn?

This is not 'just growing older' as some people say. I know something is WRONG. I don't know what it is, but I am hopeful the doctors can help me before too much of my life slips away. Friends who don't believe when you are sick are not the kinds of friends to keep.

Update on My Diet and Exercise Program

Mon, 18 May 2009 21:40:26 GMT

There is an old fitness saying, "Exercise is 90% diet." This pretty much sums up how my plans have been going of late. I was doing fairly well on the 3-part program, until a week of hormonal PMS set off one of the longest running chocolate binges I've ever experienced. I'm talking a large chocolate bar (about 700 calories) every day for 8-9 days. I just couldn't stop; I NEEDED chocolate. Thankfully that's over, but when I finally ventured near the scale again I was aghast to have finally tipped the fat percentage over thirty. Anything over 30% body fat is considered overweight. 20-30% is normal/average for a woman. Under 20% is fit.

Crud, officially overweight. So much for the diet and exercise.

Actually, I'm really happy with the program because it is very easy to jump back without feeling too bad about it. So even if I cheat here and there, I don't feel like I have to start over. I am going to have to adjust and ramp up the fitness level and, of course, stop eating all the junk. The past few days I have been concentrating on getting all my water (3 pints), taking my vitamins, and eating a good amount of fiber. I've managed to limit the fatty and junk foods and have since watched three pounds melt away in a matter of days. I'm thinking water weight might have accounted for some of the weight gain, so I also cut my salt. I started the diet at 28% body fat, fought down to 26%, rocketed up to 30% with an all-day, all week chocolate binge, and am now sliding back down the scale. Currently I'm at 29% body fat.

Even though I didn't lose weight or get skinnier after a month on the program, I certainly feel more fit. I think the light exercise has prepped me for the next stage of the program, where I really start to workout. Exercise and proper vitamins, etc, have certainly helped my condition (which may or may not be fibromyalgia).

So the officially three-part program goes as follows:

Day 1: A long walk (I'm hoping to start walking with my group again soon, which is 4 miles on Saturday).
Day 2: Sprints or some kind of intense cardio (I am adding an upper body workout to this day).
Day 3: Abs Workout -- I may start substituting indoor rock climbing on this day
Day 4 (repeat day 1): Will be restarting the 5K 'donut run/walk' I used to do.
Day 5 (repeat day 2): Intense cardio & upper body workout.
Day 6 (repeat day 3): Abs Workout
Day 7: REST, I may also use this day to 'clease' my diet with lots of fruits, veggies, and fiber -- basically eating vegetarian one day a week.

There is no easy solution to fitness, just diet and exercise. If you want to lose weight, you have to make permanent changes to what you eat. If you want to get into shape, you have to move your butt. To get fit, you have to do both of those things, and it won't happen quickly. So make choices you know you can live with and DON'T GIVE UP!

Immaculate Conception vs. VHEMT

Sun, 17 May 2009 16:06:26 GMT

The following letter was sent to the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement via their Myspace page. VHEMT supports the extinction of Humankind through voluntary non-breeding.

Dear Cult Leader,

I know what you're all about and you're all about everyone killing themselves. You don't like it when people have babies, and that's okay and everything, but you've failed to consider immaculate conception. If you don't remember, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was the result of a virgin birth. You may have written this off as a one time thing, but let me assure you that this is occurs more often than you may think. I'm not telling you how to do your job or anything, I just wanted to warn you that the population could be increasing ten-fold due to immaculate births. This is more of a problem than you could ever know. Children without fathers are everywhere and you have no idea how many of those whose father is God.

Liz Phair
Victoria Beckham
Redman
Nick Hornby
Maynard James Keenan

All of these socialites have one thing in common, can you guess what it is?

You're welcome.

This was the reply from the movement.

I knew it!! I knew that guy from Tool was too cool not to be a son of god. I appreciate you warning me about this scourge of reproductive choice, I honestly hadn't thought about it at all. I think we should spend some serious resources looking into immaculate contraceptive, don't you?

Really, it's better than aborting a child forced upon a woman by god. When you think about it, immaculate conception is a form of rape, maybe even worse because there's absolutely nothing you can do to protect yourself from it.

Thanks for the food for thought!

This exchange was so funny it got posted to the VHEMT list. I recieve the list as a 'supporter' but not a 'member', the difference being I believe in population reduction rather than extinction. For more information, visit http://www.vhemt.org/

Clues to Jealousy

Fri, 15 May 2009 00:03:40 GMT

I just read a pretty insightful article from Psychology Today about jealousy and its levels of intensity. The more we understand this beast, the more we are able to tame it. Of course, the mantra 'communication, communication, communication' is always apt.

What Kid of Lover, Darling, Should I Take in Order to Make You Less Jealous

Neither AgtOrange nor I ended up participating in various plans, due to a combination of laziness and potential bad weather (but mostly laziness). I baked peanut butter cookies. They are not to my perfectionist specifications, a vast disappointment to me over the success of my white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

My First Pie

Tue, 12 May 2009 20:54:33 GMT

FirstPie1
Originally uploaded by Jadxia

My first pie, an apple banana. I didn't have a pie pan, so I wrapped aluminum foil around a cake pan (to keep from scratching the nonstick coating when I removed the pie). It was messy, but delicious.

(Close up of crust design and picture of cut open slice on Flickr.)

The ORIGINAL 80's Night at Madams in DC

Wed, 06 May 2009 23:51:48 GMT

80snight
Originally uploaded by Jadxia

Featuring DJ London and free video games. Specials on wine coolers! Dance space and pool in one of the hottest areas of DC, come hang out retro-style at Madam's Organ every Wednesday night (second level).

Giant Box of Chocolates

Wed, 06 May 2009 23:46:13 GMT

giantchoc1
Originally uploaded by Jadxia

AgtOrange bought me a giant box of chocolates when we went in to get some eyedrops for me from CVS (I think the gimme gimme gimme had something to do with it). Here is Moo inspecting the goods.

giantchoc2
Originally uploaded by Jadxia

Here he is double checking the chocolates with the map. Gotta make sure they are all accounted for!

Zombie Bank

Wed, 06 May 2009 15:43:11 GMT

More fun with zombies!

Deepening

Mon, 04 May 2009 23:04:12 GMT

My niece(eighteen? nineteen?) has decided she wants to get married. Sis is all freaked out about that, among other things.

The boy who has agreed to marry her is, in my sister's words, poor trailer park with no prospects to speak of. His is conservative and not brilliant, but at least wise enough to have decided to join the military. My sister things he is not good enough for her daughter.

Now, my niece has pretty much said all she wants in life is a man who will take care of her and let her stay at home and read her novels and cook. She is not the type to care if she lives in a trailer all her life. She doesn't care about her figure, or clothes, or hair, etc. Personally, I am kind of envious. She found exactly what she said she wanted. More power to her. Also, as AgtOrange stated, "even if this is a total mistake and it takes her a decade to figure this out, she'll still be, what, thirty years old?"

So, despite Sis' opposition, I fully support this move. I wish she'd finished high school first, but I suppose it can't be helped. I finished school myself only by the skin of my teeth.

I am concerned about other issues with Sis. She insists on feeling sad because her loser boyfriend dumped her. When I say loser, I mean pill-popping, money borrowing, non-supportive, jealous, paranoid, insecure, jobless, etc. He literally brought nothing to her table. I told her to replace him with a hollow stuffed animal, she could snuggle it and when she got to missing the boyfriend, just dump some money inside it. At least then she'd have the money.

It would be different if she'd been really happy with him, if he had at least brought that for her, but of course she was just as miserable then as she is now. The only problem is she doesn't remember just how miserable she was, the past seems better to her. My sister is terribly codependent.

Growing up, it was implied that all us girls would be happy if we 'just settled down with the right man'. That never worked, and I wish she'd quit looking for another loser replacement until she gets herself straightened out. But I feel like a hypocrite for saying it. See, I went on a 'relationship hiatus' for a year, only about four months into it I met AgtOrange and ended up in a relationship with him that is pretty awesome. We've been living together for eighteen months. But my happiness and the fact that I have settled down and happen to have someone financially taking care of me are no more than circumstantial facts. My illness FORCED me to settle down, and in fact, I have a very hard time trying to be happy without constant motion, without being able to hold down a job and have my independence. It is one of our great points of friction, not because of financial reasons, but because I have an inner need to feel productive in society. Being dependent on someone, even someone who doesn't mind in the slightest and doesn't hold it over me, is a great source of unhappiness in my life. And I know my sister well enough to know she is pretty much the same way. Not to mention the fact that, while looking for some guy to solve all of her problems she a) doesn't get any of her own problems solved, and b) winds up with another loser because those are the only men she likes.

Only I can't say that. Being in a dependent (supposedly carefree) relationship and telling someone it isn't all peaches and roses when I'm at least fairly peachy and rosy makes me sound like the celebrity who complains about being rich and famous. *sigh*

As AgtOrange says, it ain't up to me.

Fun With Swine Flu

Mon, 04 May 2009 14:39:13 GMT

A fun typo, from Remarks by Secretary Napolitano at Today’s Media Briefing on the H1N1 Flu Outbreak and the U.S. Government’s Response

"We're also actively monitoring travelers at our land, sea, and air ports. We're watching them for signs of illness, and we have appropriate protocols in place to deal with those who are sick. Precautions are being taken to protect travelers and border personnel. Anyone exhibiting symptoms is being referred to an isolation room where they can be evaluated by a public health official before proceeding to their destruction."

(destruction was later corrected to destination)

For more fun stuff, play this educational game Free Rice. For every correct answer, 10 grains of rice are donated to feed the hungry.

More Strange Dreams

Fri, 01 May 2009 14:11:44 GMT

Where do these dreams keep coming from? Last night I dreamed I was in school, only it was muppet-land. I was also Harold from Harold and Maude. Anyway, a panther had gotten loose in the science lab and they had had to shut down the whole department. Funny thing was, it was a muppet panther, so in half the dream I'm being chased by the equivalent of a stuffed sock.

This is decidedly weirder than the dream of a few nights ago, where I was in a gang with a midget and we robbed a young Prince Charles for his wallet.

I am still sick, I think I caught a new cold while at the clinic. No fever, so it can't be flu, but I still feel pretty crappy.

Billy Gates

Fri, 01 May 2009 03:58:44 GMT

Computer failure rage song

The Trouble With Twitter

Fri, 01 May 2009 03:57:22 GMT

A very funny cartoon all about Twitter.

Twouble with Twitters

As one of the Twitter-Twits, I must urge you to follow me feed. I 'twit' every time I post anything meaningful on any of my numerous weblogs (how many do I have?? I've stopped counting). I also post random and meaningless thoughts, just like this one.

http://twitter.com/jadxia

Bloggers Unite to Defy Military Censors in Fiji

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:17:59 GMT

Fiji's military government says anonymous pro-democracy bloggers are a "threat to national security."

READ FULL ARTICLE AT:
http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-04-28-voa11.cfm

This article is cross-posted with my sister site, Reasonable Activist.com. If activism interests you, check it out!

Queen Bohemian Rhapsody Old School Computer Remix

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:41:49 GMT

Way too awesome to ignore, this is a remix done the OLD fashioned way. WOW.

Top 8 Blog Rap Superstars of 2008 -- Link to NSFW songs

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 01:47:09 GMT

Top 8 Blog Rap Superstars of 2008 at JumpTheTurnstyle -- Gotta listen to "The Reading" by Asher Roth, a NSFW rap remix of Reading Rainbow

I loved that show! Funny enough, saw this through a link on Levar Burton's twitter page.

Fighting Returns to Northern Ireland -- Did It Ever Leave?

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:06:30 GMT

I follow Irish news (bit of an Irish-ophile really). Stories like this make me very sad indeed.

NI dissidents threaten Sinn Fein politician

Masked men ransack Shell gas project in Ireland

Scientists Find Cure For Hangover In Bacon Sandwich

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:49:26 GMT

Heh, and I thought I was the only one who ate bacon sandwiches (used to have one every day when I worked as a waitress, yummy).

The full article is available at:
Telegraph.co.uk

I am desperate for a Philly-liscious, the great sandwich I invented while waitressing. You take regular philly meat, plus chicken philly meat, plus crumbled bacon and normal accoutrements (onion, peppers, cheese, toasted bread). I keep salivating just thinking about it.

Woke up late today, did not make it to labyrinth meetup and really didn't have the money to spend on the lunch afterward anyway, so it is best I didn't go. Still planning to see the new Star Trek movie tonight, provided the line for the advance screening isn't too long. Will probably show up about 2 hours early, if that isn't enough, so be it. I love Star Trek, but not enough to camp out in a theater.