Jadxia

The nice thing about being totally out of shape is that you really notice it when you attempt to get into shape. If you are very overweight, those first pounds can melt off much faster than if you are only ten pounds overweight (like I am).

I've just started the second week of the "From Couch to 5K" Program. I had to skip a few days to recover from the procedure, but since I was at the very beginning this doesn't seem to have affected me much. There are 3 runs a week for 9 weeks, after which the goal is to be able to jog 5K nonstop. This used to be my Wednesday morning donut run (as I am, suspiciously, exactly 5K from the nearest Krispy Kreme).

Now I have a personal goal since I have to pass the recommended physical requirements for school, which is 2 miles in 20 minutes. I can honestly say I have never run a 10-minute mile, let alone two of them. It will be pretty awesome if I go from being the sickest I've ever been (which is saying quite a bit) to the most fit I've ever been over the course of a summer.

At the end of the first week, I estimated I was walking/jogging about a 16.6-minute mile. At the start of the second week, the extra jogging has bumped me to a 14.3-minute mile. Imagine, I've shaved more than a minute off of my time in one week! And just months ago I was barely walking at all. So it is nice to be out of shape sometimes... but it sure will be great to be in shape as well.

REFERENCES:
Couch to 5K Program

There is an old fitness saying, "Exercise is 90% diet." This pretty much sums up how my plans have been going of late. I was doing fairly well on the 3-part program, until a week of hormonal PMS set off one of the longest running chocolate binges I've ever experienced. I'm talking a large chocolate bar (about 700 calories) every day for 8-9 days. I just couldn't stop; I NEEDED chocolate. Thankfully that's over, but when I finally ventured near the scale again I was aghast to have finally tipped the fat percentage over thirty. Anything over 30% body fat is considered overweight. 20-30% is normal/average for a woman. Under 20% is fit.

Crud, officially overweight. So much for the diet and exercise.

Actually, I'm really happy with the program because it is very easy to jump back without feeling too bad about it. So even if I cheat here and there, I don't feel like I have to start over. I am going to have to adjust and ramp up the fitness level and, of course, stop eating all the junk. The past few days I have been concentrating on getting all my water (3 pints), taking my vitamins, and eating a good amount of fiber. I've managed to limit the fatty and junk foods and have since watched three pounds melt away in a matter of days. I'm thinking water weight might have accounted for some of the weight gain, so I also cut my salt. I started the diet at 28% body fat, fought down to 26%, rocketed up to 30% with an all-day, all week chocolate binge, and am now sliding back down the scale. Currently I'm at 29% body fat.

Even though I didn't lose weight or get skinnier after a month on the program, I certainly feel more fit. I think the light exercise has prepped me for the next stage of the program, where I really start to workout. Exercise and proper vitamins, etc, have certainly helped my condition (which may or may not be fibromyalgia).

So the officially three-part program goes as follows:

Day 1: A long walk (I'm hoping to start walking with my group again soon, which is 4 miles on Saturday).
Day 2: Sprints or some kind of intense cardio (I am adding an upper body workout to this day).
Day 3: Abs Workout -- I may start substituting indoor rock climbing on this day
Day 4 (repeat day 1): Will be restarting the 5K 'donut run/walk' I used to do.
Day 5 (repeat day 2): Intense cardio & upper body workout.
Day 6 (repeat day 3): Abs Workout
Day 7: REST, I may also use this day to 'clease' my diet with lots of fruits, veggies, and fiber -- basically eating vegetarian one day a week.

There is no easy solution to fitness, just diet and exercise. If you want to lose weight, you have to make permanent changes to what you eat. If you want to get into shape, you have to move your butt. To get fit, you have to do both of those things, and it won't happen quickly. So make choices you know you can live with and DON'T GIVE UP!

I received my first laser hair removal treatment (of my underarms) on Friday and all I can say is IT HURT! Not a little bit, either. Now, I have no idea what kind of laser they are using and it is quite possibly one of the older, more painful ones. I'll call them and find out later. I do have some useful take-away tips for those considering laser hair.

#1) Don't go for discounts. I should have known this one, but a part of me feels like, by now, any idiot should be able to perform laser hair removal. Does it really take a medical degree? Apparently it does, and there is something unsettling about having your armpits zapped by a technician who seems to be working to supplement her college tuition. If I get other parts done, I will be happy to pay three times the amount for a board certified plastic surgeon. In fact, I have one picked out already.

#2) Ask about lidocaine before treating any sensitive areas. Be prepared to go early to have time to numb the area.

#3) If you are anything but the fairest Caucasian with dark hair, go for the YAG lasers. Pulsed Light laser

#4) Bring a chemical icepack, just in case. I wish I'd had one when I left the treatment room. Like any burn, my armpits continued to feel like they were on fire until I had cooled them off at home.

#5) Prepare in advance with lots of sunblock. They had an opening early, so I took it. Luckily my armpits aren't very tan and I'd been using sunblock on them for a week. The fairer the skin, the better. I plan on using sunblock every day for the next six weeks (until my next treatment) in the hopes of making them deathly pale by the time I have to be zapped again.

IN DIET & EXERCISE NEWS:
My alternating exercise routines seem to be working to slowly peel off the belly fat, and this is entirely without dieting (although I am attempting to eat sensible meals). Certainly I feel less 'fatty fatty' in the belly than I did before and it has only been a week. Also, I was able to follow the routine without too much grumbling. This one may be a keeper.

AgtOrange seems to have finally given up on the Alternate Day Diet, which worked fairly well for maintaining current weight but not for sloughing off the pounds. He has started walking twice a week with me on my long walk days.

BRAIN TRUST PROGRAM:
I have also managed to do this program daily for a week. Hell, it takes less than ten minutes a day. Each day I have been about five seconds faster on the daily exercises. It will be another three weeks before I retake the memory and brain 'flexibility' tests. But so far it seems to be making my brain work smarter after all.

So I just couldn't continue to do the same boring routine six days a week. Even though it only took 15 minutes a day, it was a dreaded 15 minutes and I found myself cleaning the whole house rather than sit down and do a couple situps. So I canned that program.

AgtOrange continues the Alternate Day Diet. He cheats now when he didn't used to, but he's also starting to walk some on the days I walk. While on the diet, he didn't lose weight so much as maintain weight (without gaining as he usually does), but past the first ten pounds he complained of being hungry on the down days.

I'm not really dieting at all, but I plan to adopt yet another exercise program which I have self-modified from Prevention magazine, Runner's World magazine, and the GutBusters book.

JADE'S EXERCISE PLAN:
This is an alternating three-part exercise plan.
Long walks: We'll start with an easy 30 minutes, then add 5 minutes every week until we hit our goal -- in this case 60 minutes.
Sprints: I will be starting with two 1-block sprints (or as far as I can run quickly), each followed by 60 seconds of rest. Every week I will add another sprint interval until I am up to 6 1-block sprints. Then I will attempt to increase the sprint length to my goal of 2 blocks each (almost a quarter mile).
Abdominal Exercises: Here I'm using the GutBusters routine to strengthen my core.

So the plan will go like this:
Day 1: Long walk
Day 2: Sprints
Day 3: Abs workout
Day 4: Long walk
Day 5: Sprints
Day 6: Abs workout
Day 7: REST

I have also decided to begin The Brain Trust Program, a mental workout program based on the book. Now if I can just get over this rotten head cold I will be all set.

FOR MORE INFO, READ:
The Brain Trust Program
Gut Busters: The 15-Minute-A-Day, 12-Week Plan

The consummate book on stripping, that any good newbie club stripper starting out will read is Strip City by Lily Burana. This book was first loaned to me in my first club, and later I loaned copies or recommended it to all book-loving strippers, especially the new ones. In it, she mentions a pole dancing class she took in Florida -- prior to the latest craze of pole dancing for fitness now springing up all over the country.

Of course, she went to the Pure Talent School of Dance, which also has a loud little MySpace page.

But there's another little school focusing on just pole dancing called the Pole Fitness Studio, also in Florida. And they've put the entire basic moves program on video, for free, online. Check out Pole Dance Fitness on ExpertVillage.com. Most of the DC clubs never allowed us to dance on the poles (even the ones which had vertical ones, many just have horizontal ceiling grab bars) because of liability issues. I was one of the few dancers who could be trusted enough to swing on the grab bars (also a no-no) that they were sure wouldn't try to sue if I missed and cracked myself on the skull. Of course, I never injured myself or a client during a trick (which is a pretty mean feat, considering I had a signature trick where I swung around, lifted myself with the bar, and then kicked my heels directly to either side of the client's head). I learned my tricks from other dancers, to be sure, but few people stay in the industry long and if they do they generally switch clubs and move from place to place with impunity -- one really novel trick learned can make you seem like an original.

Yay! Free pole dance lessons! (Did I mention there is a pole in the BatCave? hehehe)