Jadxia

The following supposes that you believe in the presence of angels, demons, or spirits. It provides no proof for the existence of any of these creatures, nor do I intend to justify my beliefs. I would expect no one to believe anything which they did not personally experience, and in fact many of my friends are athiests. However, I can only say that I HAVE experienced what I believe to be supernatural energies of indeterminate nature and therefore am forced to believe in them even though I currently have no proof to provide for skeptics.

I think of this in the manner of seeing a blue car parked in a handicapped spot. Imagine I saw such a car and reported it, only the driver returns and drives away before any authorities arrive. There is no evidence of the car left, and no one else saw it, but that doesn't mean the car does not exist. Whether or not anyone else believes in the existence of the blue car is subject to their own experiences. If the officer had heard another report yesterday of the same or a similar blue car parked illegally, they are more likely to believe me. However, if I reported this car every day for two months and it was never spotted, the officer would be more likely to believe I'm crazy. All I can say is, believer what you want.

Just finished watching a program about the history of angels/demons (which are pretty much the same kind of entities, just as there are good and bad people but we are all the same species).

They were discussing the vision of Ezekiel, in which he see's 'God's chariot' surrounded by angels. In his dream, the angels have a bizarre aspect. They each have four faces -- human, lion, ox, and eagle.

A jolt of excitement shot through me as I recalled a similar vision I had experienced while on a shamanic drum journey. In my vision, I was chasing a swiftly moving creature made of horse, tiger, and bird (sort of a dark hawk, perhaps a crow, but with a more aggressive beak structure). I never fully understood this creature until now.

I get it. I can explain something about angels.

If heaven is an alternate dimension (or interdimensional space), then angels are fully evolved interdimensional beings. Just as totally colorblind people can't interpret color, we can't interpret the nature of angels with our under-developed senses. These irrational images are our minds attempting to make sense of an interdimesional being.

Humans are primarily one-aspect creatures. We excel at being one 'type' of creature, usually, with the other three aspects not fully developed. I interpret my vision as me seeing myself more fully, in my one fully developed aspect chasing to learn about the other three.

The first aspect is the thinker. This embodies the seeker, the scientist, and the intellectual. I am this kind of aspect human.

The second aspect is the practical, represented in my vision by a horse and in Ezekiel's by an ox (both domestic beasts of agriculture). Most of my athiest friends would fall into this pragmatic aspect, and many of the best homemakers live here as well.

The birds represent the spiritual aspect, and also the need for freedom. An ascetic like Gandhi would be a person who is a fully developed spiritual person. When your life involves the quest for enlightenment over the quest for creature comforts or intellectual pursuits, you are living in your spirit being.

The last is the lion or tiger aspect, which here is the noble protector. Enforcers of the law (at least, those who are righteous in what they do) fall into this category, as well as activists of all stripes.

Angels are creatures without set physical forms. They are fully formed in all four aspects. In our dreams and visions, our minds represent them in ways that help us understand their true natures, such as four-headed creatures or beings with wings and light.

Does that mean if we were to develop all of our aspects we would become angels? Probably not. Still, it doesn't hurt us to act angelically.

REFERENCES:
Ezekiel's Vision

The following letter was sent to the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement via their Myspace page. VHEMT supports the extinction of Humankind through voluntary non-breeding.

Dear Cult Leader,

I know what you're all about and you're all about everyone killing themselves. You don't like it when people have babies, and that's okay and everything, but you've failed to consider immaculate conception. If you don't remember, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was the result of a virgin birth. You may have written this off as a one time thing, but let me assure you that this is occurs more often than you may think. I'm not telling you how to do your job or anything, I just wanted to warn you that the population could be increasing ten-fold due to immaculate births. This is more of a problem than you could ever know. Children without fathers are everywhere and you have no idea how many of those whose father is God.

Liz Phair
Victoria Beckham
Redman
Nick Hornby
Maynard James Keenan

All of these socialites have one thing in common, can you guess what it is?

You're welcome.

This was the reply from the movement.

I knew it!! I knew that guy from Tool was too cool not to be a son of god. I appreciate you warning me about this scourge of reproductive choice, I honestly hadn't thought about it at all. I think we should spend some serious resources looking into immaculate contraceptive, don't you?

Really, it's better than aborting a child forced upon a woman by god. When you think about it, immaculate conception is a form of rape, maybe even worse because there's absolutely nothing you can do to protect yourself from it.

Thanks for the food for thought!

This exchange was so funny it got posted to the VHEMT list. I recieve the list as a 'supporter' but not a 'member', the difference being I believe in population reduction rather than extinction. For more information, visit http://www.vhemt.org/

The Slappa products came and are awesome as described, so now we're going through AgtOrange's ENTIRE movie collection so I can watch his billion movies before filing them. This is between movies on Video On Demand, because I have this odd desire to one day have seen every movie on the free listings for HBO. So today's 'homework' was Breakfast At Tiffany's for breakfast (which I saw a couple times in high school but didn't pay any attention to), Girl, Interrupted (which I have seen once before and used to own the book), The Cable Guy, which has been playing while I cook my weekly/bi-weekly minestrone and don't really care for, and Romeo & Juliet.

I'm hoping to make a purely vegetarian version of the minestrone that meets my specifications (this version is still using chicken stock, but I plan to switch to either ginger-soy or tomato based). I'm pretty serious about celebrating Shabbat, even though I'm not Jewish. The idea of a day of creative rest really appeals to me, but it requires a bit of continuous planning so I'm easing into it slowly. Friday night I will eat a vegetarian/kosher (by definition, vegetarian is pretty much kosher) meal I cooked during the day. And I will put away my computer, wallet, and cellphone in favor of hanging with friends and family Saturday day whenever possible.

Tomorrow Marie and her hubbie are coming over to play Silent Hill: Homecoming with us. I haven't touched it yet. More on that tomorrow.

In 2004, a Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich sold for big bucks on ebay. In 2007, she was a hardboiled egg. She reigned as a pretzel in 2008.

Mother Teresa also had her food-icon fame days, as the infamous NunBun first discovered in 1996.

It is just now coming to light, however, that Muslims also experience these divine food interventions. Witness the message in a tomato in 1999, and the tropical fish in 2006 (although, to be fair, it was not a fish meant for eating).

The latest miracle comes to us from Nigeria, where thousands are flocking to see the names Allah and Mohammad inscribed in meat and gristle in a restaurant in Birnin Kebbi. Which leads us to the all important question -- where is my Buddha lettuce leaf?

'Virgin Mary' toast fetches $28,000
Virgin Mary appearing as a hard-boiled egg?
Virgin Mary pretzel bidding at $10,950 on eBay, and climbing
Perceptions of religious imagery in natural phenomena
Message from Allah 'in tomato'
Tropical fish 'has Allah marking'
'Allah meat' astounds Nigerians

I wouldn't compare it to a runner's high. You know the sensation, where you are moving not quite as fast as possible, but you continue to keep your head down and motion forward, until everything is on fire, and then hard to move, each leg made now of brick instead of muscle. Somehow the pain drifts, and you are paced out, still doing the exact same motions past exhaustion point, only the force of a steady ingrained habit pulling you on. You have no idea how this is possible, or for how long you can keep this up, but also, you have forgotten how to stop.

Because TGV is in Oklahoma, the state has decided I should pay their taxes. Bastards, I don't owe them a dime (and I PAID my Virginia taxes, thank you very much). Pops gave me money, and a good chunk of it went toward this problem, then minutes for the phone (which is already out) and then the carousing afterward. Not the most brilliant usage of funds, but necessary. My largest regret is it caused me to miss yoga on Thursday.

Slept a shocking amount at TheCrypt, then woke to Morgue trying to learn "People are Strange" on the guitar. Worked the DanceStudio and then TGV, but was soon exhausted again. I fell asleep at 0200 and woke for the last time at 1600, feeling slightly ill and with the beginnings of a nasty sinus headache.

But these are just the things that happened on the outside. The motivations run deeper and further and stronger by far.

On Tuesday night, both Commando and Loopy sent me emails -- within two hours of one another in fact. My heart is still reeling from the impact. I have learned not to take Loopy seriously, by his nature anything that comes out of his mouth is simply wishful thinking and will probably not be backed up by any action. It's sweet still, and has the power of making my heart jump even so, but I no longer believe what he says.

Then last night, I got a signal... no, THE signal, from the Great Breath I AM. In words, in human words, it translates to roughly "It is Time" or maybe even "Now". Although this fails to convey any meaning, listening to just what pops up in words makes you want to say, "time for what?" when I already knew the answer. It is time to stop dicking around and begin the process of doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It is time to prepare myself for the next step, which will unfold and be revealed to me.

The force of the sensation was so strong my eyes went mildly bloodshot, it hit my whole body in meaning and the words were more of the residual that got left behind. I looked in the mirror and was surprised to find my nose wasn't bleeding. It is time for strength, it is time for me to make ready, it is time for the first steps, it is time. I heard this in one word that sang, on a vibration so low my skin tingled -- for me 'God' is really THE GREAT HUM, not so much an Om as the steady "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" that follows.

I have been impossibly tired, impossibly weary ever since. I have eaten perhaps a gallon of homemade chili and for some reason am still starving. I have slept some 16 total hours of 20 and am somehow still exhausted. I have struggled and raged with an internal debate that was since solved. It was a calling, but the invisible voice of others causes me to have doubts.

Am I crazy? Possibly, but I still must act on this. The call was simply too strong not to and I do believe, there is nothing in me that doubts. In the words similar to Prot on the movie K-Pax, "I will believe I may be crazy if you entertain the notion I may talk to God."

Will anyone believe me? Probably not, but I believe me, and must place myself in total faith regardless of unbelievers.

Is there really a Satan? Am I being misled by demons? Is this just something I dreamed up that is unGodly? This one was a toughy. There are so many Biblical references saying women should be under the authority of a man, that woman cannot be leaders and teachers... or so I thought. While I don't believe in the Bible personally, I know it has much information that has really been gathered from true wisdom... just often distorted a little by translations and men.

I Corinthians 14:34-35 (Apostle Paul)
Let the women keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but let them subject themselves, just as the Law also says. And if they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church.

This one gave me a problem, it's quoted so often. I looked deeper, and found enlightenment. Paul, in his habit of teaching, always follows the same format of a) state the problem, b) question it, c) provide the truth. The above quote, when taken out of context, is Paul STATING THE PROBLEM. The Law he refers to is the Oral Law, which was basically the customs of man in that time period. If you actually read the next passages, you find the true answer.

I Corinthians 14:36
Was it from you that the word of God first went forth? Or has it come to you only?

Here we see him questioning, as was his pattern of speech. And next we see the answer:

I Corinthians 14:37-40
If anyone thinks he is a prophet or spiritual, let him recognize that the things which I write to you are the Lord's commandment... Therefore, my brethren, desire earnestly to prophesy, and do not forbid to speak in tongues.

(Back then, women were forbidden to speak in tongues. It was said that they 'faked it' and only men heard God.) In fact, Paul had women teaching in his ministry, for they were highly praised.

Click here for more on Women's Role in Church.

I heard God, I have no doubts. And while he didn't say anything more enlightening than I need to get my shit together (which I already knew ages ago), when the Great Mm spoke one word it had more power than weeks of any self-oratory. I am not strong enough to hear anything of teaching value, but those words will come, and now is the time for me to prepare that strength within myself, lest teaching the Word destroy me.

I hear, I follow, I am.