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Wed, Aug. 1st, 2012, 01:36 am
Slowtime Check-In Day 5 of 14 (Tuesday)

Therapist day, which means supplemental points to make up for things I can't do because I went to therapy. She said she was pleased to see me doing so well (more proof that I have FINALLY found medications that work). My shrink ROCKS.

Yet another friend rallied to me and we watched a Starz movie and had a pretty good evening of it. He may pop by next week if his schedule allows. If I get a visitor on Thursday like I might, that will mean THREE WHOLE PEOPLE have visited me this week... that's more visits than I've had in the past year (not counting family). It's nice to have your friends rally around you when you need them. I LOVE YOU ALL! *MUAH*)

Comprehensive List of Tasks

  • grooming & wound care = could have done much better, I'm gonna say fail
  • eat healthy meal = we ordered Thai so I got meat and rice and veggies yay success
  • Spanish = didn't even touch it, fail
  • coping = nope
  • paperwork/emails = yep
  • Movie review = wrote one for the movie I saw tonight, have to go through and post something soon
  • fun reading = yes, still reading that Temple Grandin book Thinking in Pictures on my Kindle
    Thinking in Pictures (Kindle)costs a bit more than the paperback. It's a GREAT book so far.
  • meditation = nawp

Medication = yes
Sober (no drinking/drugs/cutting) = yes
No Compulsions = *sigh* I bought more tshirts today *looks down* Okay, I can explain!! The tshirt classic I've been hoping and praying they would brink back finally came back... and while I was getting it I picked up a few more. AgtOrange said I could so long as I threw out an equal number. I assiduously sorted through my closet... but was still two shirts shy. I can't do it. "Life story of a t-shirt hoarder."

No Strenuous Acts = yup, I did NOT put the shelves together, mostly because AgtOrange was smart enough to have them put in his office instead of in my living room where I would have to look at them
Plenty of Fluids = nope, again I can do much better

TOTAL SCORE = 11/14 = 79% AAAAHHHH 1% point from goal "son of a B"

Today's Revelations

I had an incredible revelation regarding the nature of my visual processing problem. I'm still mulling the implications, but it answers a ton of questions I've had about my own brain. Unfortunately, you readers will have to stay in suspense awhile longer, because I want to devote a really intricate/in-depth post to it, and that is going to take awhile to create. Stay tuned, my neuro-nerd friends!

I am a t-shirt hoarder and savior of lost hats. Picked up another baseball cap, after it had been drenched in the rainstorm and run over a bunch of times. It has that properly beat-up look I prefer in some of my caps (they either have to look brand new or really, really old). My shoes were drenched and need washed anyway, I figured what the heck. As far as t-shirts go, I really, really couldn't throw enough out and I'm still totally out of hangers. My therapist asked me if I had over a hundred. I wasn't sure. So I went home and counted. There are 78 shirts in my closet, of all types (not just t-shirts, but button-ups and long-sleeved too) and who knows how much in the dirty clothes. But like a true hoarder, each one has a meaning or some kind of value with it. Even the ones I have decided to get rid of I feel almost nauseous when I think of them going away, because I have memories associated with those specific shirts that I want to hang on to. It's a physical reminder I can hold of that memory.

Example: This corset made the discard pile, because it is yellowing a little under the armpits and it doesn't really fit me all that well. But I may still rescue it; the memories it invokes are hard to let go of. Corset night at the bar, including sucking face with hot trampy female; one of the DC Zombie Lurch's followed by a Zombie Bar at Midnight (where all my makeup smeared off on my zombie peeps). I mean, look at those photos! How can I get rid of this?

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Wed, Aug. 1st, 2012 01:54 pm (UTC)

Just wanted to say that I've been following your check-ins since you started doing them and admire your commitment and tenacity. As someone who did something somewhat similar a couple of years back on a much simpler scale (I was mainly just trying to lose weight), I can attest to the efficacy of this sort of self-checking and documenting. I started around the beginning of August 2010 with the goal of losing 30 pounds by July 1st. A bold goal to be sure, and I wanted to do it right (i.e. not starve myself). Through a combination of calorie counting and walking, I met my goal by early November, and in doing so wound up taking up distance running.

I relate my experience as encouragement to you. You'll have good days and not so good days. Some days you'll feel like you've taken 3 steps back for every step forward, but as long as you keep at it, I have faith that you'll meet and even exceed your goals.

BTW, you look great in that corset.

Thu, Aug. 2nd, 2012 01:57 am (UTC)
jadxia: That's GREAT

Weight loss is such a tough one, especially for someone who likes pastries as much as I do!

I've found blogging a great way to push myself to do the work, because there is always that chance that someone else will see you 'sliding' if you don't. Some debate exists as to whether or not it is better to do one lifestyle change at a time, or all at once. I think it depends on exactly what changes you are making. Obviously, anything I do I will also have to care for my body and health; the fibromyalgia will get me if I don't. I find that's the hardest challenge sometimes, even though it is the most rewarding long-term.

Running a marathon has always been on my bucket list, and I intend to get there some day, fibro or not. Of course, right now I'm still working on getting up to a 5K again. Have you run any races?

Thu, Aug. 2nd, 2012 01:57 am (UTC)
jadxia: Re: That's GREAT

And thanks for the encouragement and complement!

(I checked your blog, and see you have run a half-marathon. How long did it take to train for that??)

Edited at 2012-08-02 01:59 am (UTC)

Thu, Aug. 9th, 2012 02:11 pm (UTC)
tommx: Re: That's GREAT

My first race was a 10 miler and it took me roughly 3 months to train for it. This involved basically starting from, well, not quite zero, but close to it. I'd been walking between 2.5-5 miles per day for three months when I decided to start running, and then turned that into running an equal distance which was actually too much. I was running twice a day some days (often in brutally cold wind) and eventually pared that down to running once a day under guidance of my brother who is a marathon runner.

For the half marathon, I didn't have to train quite as long, but I also ran a 10 miler before I ran the half.

The thing I would say is to start with what you know you can do and move from there. You mentioned getting geared up for a 5k. That's a great starting place.

I've toyed with the idea of running a marathon, but injuries have made me think twice about it, though right now I seem to be doing ok with my running.

If you do run a 5k, let me know. Maybe I'll run it with you.

Fri, Aug. 10th, 2012 01:12 am (UTC)
jadxia: Re: That's GREAT

The one time I managed a 5K, I did it through the 'couch to 5K program', which now has a generic iPad app you can buy, great when you can only run twice a week instead of the recommended 3x week. I take my iPad down to the treadmill and it tells me when to run and when to walk, and I watch netflix on it at the same time (my fave is hoarders, because I don't have to concentrate on the show and when I'm done running I go and clean the apartment).

Have you read ChiRunning? The first time I ran a non-stop mile was just because I followed it's technique. For some reason, I couldn't break that barrier for the longest time. With all of my health issues, I have to be very conscious of my running form. It is so much easier for me to injure myself (fibromyalgia tightens the muscles and fascia, so it is much easier to pull muscles etc.). I'm also in love with my barefoot running shoes by Merrill (with Vibram soles). I barely feel like I'm wearing shoes at all!

It would be fun to run with someone else, but I'm afraid I would just be slowing you down a bunch. And it's going to take me a LOOOOONG time before I can do a 5K again, between the fibro and recovering from this stupid surgery. I'll keep you posted. :D